Sometimes I really crack myself up. I was reflecting last night, after rewatching last week’s episode of LOST, about how sad I am that Sayid turned to “the dark side.” Quincy said that it only disappointed me because, according to a Facebook quiz, he is my alter-ego. It’s true. But I also really liked Sayid before I knew that. I am drawn to those warrior-type characters. Why? Because I am one.
It got me thinking about all these different FB quizzes I’ve taken over time and how I always end up with results like Sayid, Joan of Arc, Deborah, Statler and Waldorf from the Muppets, and Jim from The Office. Ok, so those last two aren’t big warriors, but they reflect the fact that I am horribly sarcastic and will probably grimace behind your back at the camera, if there were a camera.
This warrior thing is interesting though. I started kind of examining a typical day in my life and found myself pretty funny. I wake up at war. I don’t have a leisurely wake-up period. I am up and out of bed immediately. I attack the toilet with great ferocity and accomplish my morning pee-pee in no time. I brush my teeth as though the Nazis will break the door down at any moment. I get straight to breakfast and work. I do medical transcription most mornings, and type with ferociousness. This is no exaggeration. My emotional state during all of this is borderline angry. Why? What am I angry about? I have no idea. I just have foes to slay (i.e., the toilet, teeth, breakfast, and medical reports). Watch out world!
Once I’m done working, I usually fly into a fit of rage over the state of disarray that my house has found itself in. I frantically run about, cleaning up the toys my son took out during the period, vacuuming crumbs, and washing dishes. I do all of these activities with much more force than necessary, and usually have some degree of grumbling about it for everyone to hear. I will henceforth lovingly refer to this as my battle cry.
I usually settle down at this point. I guess I’ve defeated by enemy by about lunchtime. I can have a pleasant rest of the day, unless, God forbid, someone crosses me. My poor husband, the eternal lover, peacemaker, caretaker, is often the target. And let me tell you, if he disagrees with me about the slightest thing, I am ready to fight to the death. He is usually saying “it’s not a big deal, don’t worry about it” approximately 2 minutes into the conversation, while I am going Banshee woman on him. One of our issues is getting the kids ready. They belong to both of us, so shouldn’t both of us take equal part in this process? I don’t know. Apparently it’s a universal problem though. I don’t know another mom who hasn’t had this issue. In his defense, he really does help. Just not in a manner that I approve of, which, let’s face it, is the crux of all these problems. It’s quite simple really. Just do exactly what I want when I want without my having to tell you. Any deviation from this and there will be trouble. I am warrior woman.
Ironically, I rarely go ape on the kids. I don’t know why. I’m way more sarcastic with them than I ought to be, though, and I laugh at things that I definitely shouldn’t. I will probably scar them for life, but I suppose that’s inevitable and a parent’s job. So – way to go, me! I’ll receive that 2010 Mothering Award any day now. You are all invited to the big ceremony.
I don’t say any of this to defend my behaviors. I’m usually appalled at myself at the conclusion of my fits. And I do think it’s funny how those FB quizzes can really tell us a little something about ourselves. Maybe God will use FB quizzes to refine me?... if I’ll let Him.
“Know thyself.” - Socrates
Then, “Get a grip.” – Jennifer Richardson
P.S. – During any of the above situations, I am undoubtedly making sarcastic remarks and Jim faces, just to be true to my full FB personality report.